This is a quick aside to set some context. Everything in our lives comes back to stories. We were trained to call them lenses. Our stories about our lives and ourselves influence what we believe we are capable of and whether we step out of our comfort zone or stay firmly planted in what we know.

Here is an analogy. When you were born, as you were swaddled up to your mom’s chest, a well-meaning nurse came in and placed a pair of big blue party glasses on your face. The weird thing, no one ever told you. 

(Yes, this is absurd; it feels like the plot of a cheesy Hallmark movie. Eventually, an attractive lumberjack pulls the glasses off the eyes of a driven and strong-willed real estate agent, and they fall in love, roll credits… but stick with me.)

No one told you that everyone on earth wears these glasses. Your parents have a pair, and the nurse has a pair; everyone you have ever had the chance to meet wears them. They have colored our lives for as long as we can remember. So, as far as you are concerned, you have seen things objectively throughout your life. In reality, everything has been tainted by your big blue glasses.

Interestingly, 80% of what we believe about ourselves and the world was formed between the ages of eight and twelve. We have lenses about our self-worth, what health looks like, what is fulfilling in relationships, our purpose, politics, money, everything. As you read this, you might say, “I don’t have any lenses on!” and yet, even that is a lens. 

We will be wearing these glasses and telling ourselves stories. Humans actually think in stories. So, the existence of the glasses is not our issue; it is whether the story is helping us move forward into the wild or not. 

The stories we tell ourselves are expressed differently by each of us. They are built from our memories, relationships, and experiences, shaped by cultural norms and our own unique personalities. Essentially, we weave together threads of our past, present, and imagined future to create a coherent and meaningful life story. All these factors create unique stories and perspectives for each of us. We have also found that most of us are like all of us. There are some core human stories that we all encounter. The first day, last day tool helps us tackle them. 

Let’s talk the first day, well…first. 

Think back on your experiences as a child. For me, the world was wide open and begging to be discovered. Think of the first time you had ice cream, that mixture of fat and sweet hitting your tongue. If I remember the story correctly, I instantly reached for more, grinning from ear to ear. I remember learning how to skateboard, my babysitter sprinting alongside me as I mobbed down my first hill. You couldn’t tell me nothing! Sitting outside our tent on early camping trips with my dad, staring at the stars, overwhelmed with wonder and awe. I learned how to problem solve while playing army with the neighborhood kids. We needed a fort to keep us safe from the attacking force! A hollowed-out bush in the backyard became our stronghold. I learned teamwork and sharing on the soccer pitch and realized how competitive I am. If you’re not first, you’re last, as far as I’m concerned. My counselor is adamant there are more effective ways to navigate life. I am still striving to prove her wrong. There have been many days recently when hopping in a time machine back to the awe, wonder, and exploration of a wide-open world is a worthy trip. 

We go through an interesting transition as we “mature,” where the blessings of childhood—naps, play, adventure, exploration, to name a few—become “immature,” things we simply have no more time for. We begin to care about how others would perceive us if we prioritize these childlike activities, mainly because we are concerned about being perceived as childish. The parsing of words matters here; we miss out on all the benefits of remaining CHILDLIKE because we judge those we perceive as CHILDISH and are afraid we would be seen as the same. Let’s look at some definitions. 

Childish behavior refers to the negative qualities often associated with children, particularly when these behaviors persist in adults. It implies a lack of maturity, self-control, and emotional regulation. Childish actions are usually driven by immediate gratification, impulsivity, and a disregard for the needs and feelings of others.

We can all think of an “adult” we know who has remained childish. We may have observed a grown-up throwing a tantrum when their order is wrong or sulking, a vortex of negative energy when things do not go their way. You have likely had a friend who consistently places their desires above others or a coworker who would throw you under the bus to try to get ahead. 

It is widely accepted that these behaviors are not conducive to contributing to society. Judgment and shame are quick responses when we observe these actions in ourselves and others. An evolutionary tool warning us that living this way most likely leads to being alone or at least not invited to parties often. 

Because of this, we have done a yard sale on all things kid-related, even the good stuff. This leads us to childlike…

Childlike behavior refers to the positive qualities often associated with children. It embodies a sense of wonder, curiosity, joy, and openness to experience. Childlike actions are characterized by creativity, imagination, spontaneity, and a genuine enthusiasm for life.

Let’s be honest. This definition is what we all want out of life. It is what we had when we were at our best as kids, and somehow, along the way, we lost it in the name of being responsible adults. As we grew up and added more big blue lenses to our stories, our ability to stay open and curious gave way to judgment and a desire for certainty. We exchanged the adventure and exploration of play for the tasks and responsibilities of a nine-to-five. 

Here lies the invitation to engage with life through the eyes of a child, open, excited, and curious. This is living life each day as if it were your first day. 

I will shoot the elephant in the room with an elephant gun. I get it. We have things to do, mortgages to pay, kids to care for, and jobs. Life does have responsibilities. That’s why we blend the openness and curiosity of approaching each day as our first with the tenacity of treating every moment as though it were our last.

One of the most impactful lies we can believe is “I have tomorrow.” This is how broken locks stay broken, relationships remain strained, businesses do not get started, vacations are never taken, and we miss out on the life we could have lived. 

This is the aim of our visualization, the existential to-do list, and all goal-setting endeavors. Deep down inside, we know this is not our practice life. There is work for us to do, and we should start now. 

Getting stuff done is important enough that our first ebook on goal setting and consistency is available HERE.

The items on our to-do list are there because of the stories we have about them. Assuming clarity on WHAT you want to tackle is enough to keep you going when you encounter discouragement, frustration, or a stall out will not set you up for success. Please take the time to digest our goal-setting process in the ebook attached above. If you do not have the time to tackle that ebook, let me give you three keys to completing the tasks on your existential to-do list.

Tracking: What we track grows, plain and simple. Many of us only track outcomes or “lag indicators” like our weight or savings account growth, which is vital to document. It can also get discouraging; it generally takes much more effort and time than we realize to move the needle. We encourage you to track your consistent behaviors that would need to be true to reach your goals. Ultimately, this is all I can control. Am I doing the good I know to do consistently? If I am, then there is no way I will not eventually be rewarded.

Indicators: I am not sure there is a more overwhelming, frustrating, and anger-invoking moment than when your check engine light comes on. If we are aware, our behaviors can act like check engine lights for our lives. We call them indicators, the things we do and feel when we are starting to struggle.

Binging, scrolling, smoking, isolating, fighting, arguing, purchasing, isolating, drinking to name a few.

All things we do to numb, avoid, or hide from the negative emotions we are feeling can act as indicators. Our lives improve when we don’t shame ourselves for noticing these behaviors; it’s better to pick up curiosity instead. Ask yourself, what emotions am I avoiding? What is the story I am telling myself about the emotions? What event, person, or task is driving my desire to numb and avoid right now?

Because all effort in pursuing a goal will invoke stress, keeping an eye out for our indicators is a superpower. It helps us avoid prolonged seasons of avoidance that lead to stalling out.

Accountability: Accountability can create a broad mix of emotions in people. Some have had life-changing growth because of it; others experience shame and guilt heaped on them, parading as accountability.

Accountability is an absolute game-changer when it comes to progressing towards our goals. This understanding was one of our first mindset shifts, and we have never regretted it. Think about it; I would have already accomplished my goal if I had the discipline, commitment, and understanding.

Internal self-discipline always begins with external accountability.

Accountability is healthiest when it is “me telling on myself.” By utilizing your tracker and sharing your indicators with your accountability partner, you have the foundation for healthy and effective accountability.

Well, there you have it. I hope these reflections offer a fresh perspective on approaching our lives with renewed purpose and intention.

Now, embrace the power of your “first day” and make each moment count. I’d love to hear your thoughts on these ideas, so feel free to share your insights in the comments below.